Today someone said to me, “I wish that the first person I was in a relationship with was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with”. She explained her reason for saying this as, every time we end one relationship, we leave a piece of ourselves with that person. Where else do the feelings and emotions go? It just doesn’t seem like the way it was supposed to be- to go from one relationship to another, leaving behind feelings and carrying forward scars and fears. Being single and having experienced the ups and downs of dating, she wants to approach her next relationship with extreme caution. “I just don’t want to lose any more of myself”. I thought this was a very interesting point. On one hand, we learn so much from these experiences, and ultimately these lessons better position us for the future. In a perfect world, I agree with my friend. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way these days. I was lead to think about this quote from SATC,
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”
I would love if I had been able to enter my relationship with my one and only (Matt) with a clean slate, and vice versa. I don’t have some amazing conclusion to this post, but I think my ultimate point is that it my friend is so smart in recognizing that she doesn’t want to lose herself in relationships that don’t meet the requirements for the life that she wants to live. I hope that everyone seeks out the companion that truly sets that fire in their hearts and can be a partner in this crazy journey of life!
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”
I would love if I had been able to enter my relationship with my one and only (Matt) with a clean slate, and vice versa. I don’t have some amazing conclusion to this post, but I think my ultimate point is that it my friend is so smart in recognizing that she doesn’t want to lose herself in relationships that don’t meet the requirements for the life that she wants to live. I hope that everyone seeks out the companion that truly sets that fire in their hearts and can be a partner in this crazy journey of life!
There are some luky people who find their soul mate on their first relationship which lasts a life time but for the rest of us is a battle that we have with ourselves, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship it is all about how much you can copmromise for the one you love and how much happiness you get, but as you said it it all gets back to how much you love yourself and that significant other can love you the way you are.
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