me and such

I’m pretty slow at work right now, have completed all of my projects for the week and no managers are around so I have nothing new to work on. And I’m BORED! I was sifting through old e-mails the other day and found one from 2007 with one of those surveys that always used to be posted on MySpace. When I was on those social networks one of my favorite things to do was read those surveys about people- I loved it! I’m one of those people that likes to know everything about you; people fascinate me…all details included. So while sitting here waiting for the time to pass (I’m having appetizers and drinks with two of my favorite friends tonight, one who is newly ENGAGED!), I’m going to think of 15 things about myself to share with my non-existent readers.
1. I get in cleaning fits in which it may be 11 PM on a Tuesday night but I become determined to clean my entire house inside and out, right then and there
2. I love searching for lyrics to music
3. I have miniature panic attacks thinking about all of the things I want to do with my life, because I literally want to do EVERYTHING
4. I miss my family so freakin much- haven’t seen most of my them since 2003
5. Of all talents I could have, a good singing voice is one I’d want the most
6. I played soccer for about ten years- left halfback
7. I have a celeb crush on Matt Damon
8. I could eat an entire carton of fruit sorbet in one sitting
9. I came to faith in God after 23 years of struggling with it and it’s been a beautiful experience
10. I have the bestest friends in the whole wide world
11. I have approximately 20 different “dream jobs” including journalist, photographer, nurse, teacher, chef, fashionista…..etc. Sigh.
12. My boyfriend has the most wonderful smile I’ve ever seen
13. Matt and I have a short term “ideal plan” of moving to London early in our marriage, living in a humble abode and traveling everywhere possible from there before coming back to settle down
14. I love my kids that I don’t even have yet
15. This outfit is so me: (i heart jcrew)

Time is of the Essence

First of all, as an update: I just got back from volunteering and I just love it. I highly recommend it to anyone who has an extra couple of hours here and there and the compassion to share in a world that really needs it. As for the gym….that has been a failure for the past week as I’ve struggled with sleep but I was going pretty good and intend to start back tomorrow. Anyway….

While I don’t at all think that I am a love advice columnist, I happen to be having these conversations with my friends lately, and feel like writing about them! Today, my wonderful, beautiful, charismatic friend called me in tears- expressing her frustration with her and her great new boyfriend’s lack of time together. She called me, because giiiirl I can relate! She is in the wonderful stage of a new relationship, when two people realize that they just may have found THE one, and I am so happy for her. The catch is, they live about one hour from each other, so they pretty much only get to see each other on weekends. How funny- Matt and I live 2 minutes from each other, and find ourselves in the same situation. Life these days is just so fast-paced for many of us. I’m not sure in which generation the simple life became so complicated, but we all have so many commitments and responsibilities that take up so much of our time in our young lives. Hence, I think a lot of young, unmarried couples can attest to the issue of not seeing each other as much as they’d like to. Here’s why I think such a situation can be a blessing in disguise:

In relationships, what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger. I know a lot of couples, and Matthew and I started this way ourselves, that when they realize how much they love each other, they can’t get enough. Literally, they create this unhealthy co-dependence by spending every waking free moment in each other’s presence. So then…if the other person does something to upset you, the smallest thing can feel like the end of the world, because what else do you have? You do everything with that person…you find all of your joy and comfort in their presence. And when you feel less than great- who do you think will bear the burden? Not healthy.

Now, when you spend all of your time with this other person who isn’t yet your spouse, what happens to you? What about all of those things you want to accomplish for yourself, especially before you get married so that you have more to bring to the table? When do you take care of those things? Not only do I refer to careers, fitness, hobbies, tasks…etc, but I also mean emotional stability, security, and maturity. These things require growth and often some independence. Especially in today’s day and age when we go from one relationship to another (see previous blog…you like that?!) we need sufficient time to assess and reevaluate our wants and non-wants before diving back into the realm.

Being faced with this involuntary divide will force you to take your relationship slow, to give it the time it deserves to progress into the healthy and mature relationship that you want. I believe rushing is so much more dangerous than being forced to be patient. Yes, it is hard and I still struggle with it in my own relationship from time to time, because I want to see my man, darn it! But I know what he is doing is for the good of our future, and same goes for me. I also know that we have built a solid foundation…and it won’t be this way forever. I am sure that when it’s over, it will all be so worth the wait.

Love and life, actually.

Today someone said to me, “I wish that the first person I was in a relationship with was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with”. She explained her reason for saying this as, every time we end one relationship, we leave a piece of ourselves with that person. Where else do the feelings and emotions go? It just doesn’t seem like the way it was supposed to be- to go from one relationship to another, leaving behind feelings and carrying forward scars and fears. Being single and having experienced the ups and downs of dating, she wants to approach her next relationship with extreme caution. “I just don’t want to lose any more of myself”. I thought this was a very interesting point. On one hand, we learn so much from these experiences, and ultimately these lessons better position us for the future. In a perfect world, I agree with my friend. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way these days. I was lead to think about this quote from SATC,

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

I would love if I had been able to enter my relationship with my one and only (Matt) with a clean slate, and vice versa. I don’t have some amazing conclusion to this post, but I think my ultimate point is that it my friend is so smart in recognizing that she doesn’t want to lose herself in relationships that don’t meet the requirements for the life that she wants to live. I hope that everyone seeks out the companion that truly sets that fire in their hearts and can be a partner in this crazy journey of life!

Shout Out to Steph

I am so incredibly proud of my dear friend Stephanie Pando. She has found a way to put her passions to work, through being one of the best nannies a parent could ask for and also being able to capture wonderful moments for people through photography.

If you’re interested in having her take some photos for you (she's around Southern and Northern CA), she is very reasonably priced, as she’s a beginner- talented nonetheless! Go Steph!!! She does other pictures too (weddings, family, etc.) but there were some of my favorite.

Make it Happen.

A goal I need to seriously tackle this year is taking violin lessons. I played the violin for 8 years, and then as a teen decided I was too cool to keep playing….so annoying! I can still read music and play relatively well, but I really want to master it! Not only classical, which is what I was taught, but folk style too! I dream of playing for my family one day. And while I’ve meant to start practicing for a long time now, it just hasn’t happened.

Another one I started and didn’t finish (sigh) is my guitar…but that will require a lot more learning which I’d rather tackle after the violin. I’m slowly starting to realize that the theme of majority of my life has been “I love this, I want to try….oh man this is hard…I’m not awesome right off the bat? Ugh I’m over it”. By now, it’s really starting to annoy me. As in, I am annoying myself! I must put an end to this! I absolutely know that if I put my mind to any of these things, if I want them bad enough, I can make it happen. But I am a “restless soul” (stole that from passport in my pocket) and when it doesn’t happen right away, I must need more instant gratification or something because I just tend to get frustrated with myself and look for the next thing to try and undertake.

*I must learn to find the excitement in those challenges, though, because that’s what makes the accomplishment such a beautiful thing. You gotta earn the glory, right?!*

Ode to Sacramento

I realized that my blog has no theme at all….but I think I’m okay with that. So to add to my randomness, I decided to capture some of the beautiful things I walk past on my way to work. One of my favorite things about Sacramento is the trees. I love these tulip trees….

And we have orange trees everywhere!

The capitol building and park are so pretty- great for a picnic or to jog around.

I used to hate this city, to be totally honest, but I’ve grown to love it. With midtown’s cute shops, restaurants, and night life if you want it….downtown containing some impressive business with our state’s government and the country’s largest pension fund…and then East Sacramento with the oh so beautiful homes, parks, and “Fabulous Forties”… I’m over wishing I lived somewhere else and am learning to appreciate what I have right in front of me. That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to the next chapter in life, wherever that may be (London?? Seattle??), but I am honestly happy right where I am for now!

*** Some of my midtown favorites: The Bread Store (BEST sandwiches), Old Soul (awesome coffee spot- see pics on “Cheetah Is the New Black”), Moxie for some fabulous finer dining, Time Tested Books (used bookstore), Zanzibar (world imports/free trade store) ***

Travel Reminiscence: Cinque Terre, Italy

Today was a great day. I'm still feelin' my workout from yesterday morning, I was able to enjoy my lunch break with my man., and I am very pleased with my first math exam results....so my happy place leads me to think about one of my favorite things: TRAVEL. I'm pleased to say that I've been to some amazing places so far and there are hundreds more that I'd love to see. In 2008, Matthew and I traveled to England, France, and Italy. Our absolute favorite part of the trip was the Cinque Terre.

I can't express how beautiful these five villages along the Italian coast are (Monterosso, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola, and Riomaggiore). On one side you have the hills that are lined with grapes and olives, and on the other side you have the gorgeous Mediterrean ocean.

No cars are allowed into the villages, just a single train that passes through them all. There's also a walking trail that connects all of the villages ("Via Del 'Amore"). Matthew and I hiked it and there really are no words for the beauty. We scored an awesome 3 story apartment...in my opinion, renting apartments from locals is the way to go. This place was no more expensive then a hotel, and it was a fully equipped! The best part was our huge balcony, overlooking the ocean. Right below us was a selection of amazing restaurants. The fresh pasta was the kind of delicious that you have to close your eyes and say "mmm" with every bite. Oh, and did I mention the wine?

Ti amo Cinque Terre!