The Way We Go

Given that this entire trip truly is a massive leap of faith, it's definitely led to a lot of prayer, leaning heavily on God and each other and truly seeking to walk in His ways.  This is a moment in our marriage that we've honestly been waiting for.  It's truly a dream come true.  Not only do we get to spend a month (at least) serving Him and His people, but we get to travel the world together.  If there's ever going to be a time in our lives where we will bond, experience, grow....this will be a huge one.  It's a time where we have the opportunity to grow closer to God, and closer in our marriage.  As a Christian, I have to be honest with myself and recognize that this is also a time where Satan will work extra hard us.  Scary but true.  And I think recognizing that is so incredibly important, because we need to be extra careful, not getting overly in our heads, not listening to the lies, not being led astray by our temptations....this is the way he works.  And we cannot let him win.

Part of this effort has resulted in extra fellowship. Fellowship is something I (Elham) so dearly cherish.  It puts the truth out there, and takes it out of our heads, where we can quickly let it accumulate in weight and burden.  But then we speak to others who can understand, who can lead us back to God's word, who can PRAY for us....how powerful is that?? So not only do I plan to write about our travels, but also our spiritual journey.  I've been sending out devotionals at work to some coworkers, which has been such a blessing.  This is one of them:

I have to admit that there are definite moments where I have felt fear and questioned the decision [to leave for 6 months], but more often than not, especially after spending time with Carrie and For One Another, I cannot wait to take the opportunity that I have right in front of me….I really want to be humbled and to be drawn closer to God. To see those who have SO MUCH less than me but have probably such more solid faith. And on top of that, to be able to give love to people and kids that for some reason I can’t understand don’t get enough. But you’re right in that if they realize that all they need is faith in God and they will have everything. We so don’t understand that here, in our comfortable bubbles!

In C.S. Lewis's book, "A Grief Observed" [thank you Laura] he writes about facing challenges and the faith it produces after the death of his wife. He describes his faith as a house of cards.

"I already knew that these things, and worse, happened daily. I would have said that I had taken them into account. I had been warned - I warned myself - not to reckon on worldly happiness. We were even promised sufferings. They were part of the programme. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accepted it. I've got nothing that I had bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not in imagination. Yes; but should it, for a sane man, make quite such a difference as this? No. And it wouldn't for a man whose faith had been real faith and whose concern for others people's sorrows had been real concern. The case is too plain. If my house has collapsed at one blow, that is because it was a house of cards... It has been an imaginary faith playing with innocuous counters labeled 'Illness,' 'Pain,' 'Death,' and 'Loneliness.' I thought I had trusted the rope until it mattered to me whether it would bear me. Now it matters, and I find I didn't... And you will never discover how serious it was until the stakes are raised horribly high, until you find that you are not playing for counters or for sixpences but for every penny you have in the world. Nothing less will shake a man...out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover himself."

Sometimes I wonder if I know the true depths of my faith. And I am reminded constantly how much I need to FOCUS on my faith being set on Christ and nothing else in this world will get me through the challenges of life except for Him. I’m really hoping this experience will draw us nearer to Him, and hopefullywe can also draw others nearer to Him as well.

Jeremiah 29:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.”

The part that is the most important to me is “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  We so often do not TRULY seek him…and all He asks is that we open our hearts to Him, which is something we claim to believe in. Yet so often wetry to go through the through process ourselves, or get so caught up in our heads and that's when I realize, wow- I haven’t prayed about this nearly as much as I’ve talked about it, or just thought about it. I haven’t actually asked God to help me surrender this into His hands…..