Belly Laugh

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.

~ From the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist

Rules of Life: Defined by MOI!

*Let me add a disclaimer: I try to abide by these myself, but I don’t claim to have them perfected!


1) You CAN do it. I constantly hear of people claiming to want certain things so bad, whether it is a drastic change of any kind or the slightest one, a new activity, one less activity…..My take on this: just make it happen. I have learned this and it has been life changing. Yes, certain things you can’t change immediately- like your job. But you can try. And keep trying. And while you try, what else can you do to offset that seemingly endless wait? Take a class for fun. Find a new hobby and hold yourself to it. Can’t afford it? I BET you can reduce some of your expenses enough to make up for it. Too tired? JUST GO- I practically guarantee you won’t regret it. I could go on and on. The point is, step out of your comfort zone, let go of your fear that is holding you back (once you realize that’s what it is) and just DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. One step at a time is sometimes enough to make you realize that there is such a better way of going through life than by default.

2) Flakey = fake. Fake = waste of EVERYONE’s time. Yes, I really believe this! Do people really think that they are being nicer by saying yes to things while fully intending on making up an excuse and flaking later? Let me tell you, you’re not! I know it sounds harsh, but it’s pretty much dishonesty. I’ve been liberated by practicing telling people no when I just know I can’t or won’t make it to something. Yeah, that isn’t very fun either. But I personally feel it’s better than telling someone who is planning on you being somewhere that you can’t actually go. And best of all, it’s HONEST! I’ll stop now 

3) An attitude of gratitude is the way to opportunity. AND it rhymes! (Thanks Yogi tea). Treating people well is such a key in life. Obvious? You’d think so. But I watch so many people (at work, mostly) who get this crazy attitude due to their frustrations or how much more they (think) they know than everyone else and it exudes in their presence. Sure, you can feel that way, but it doesn’t mean you should act that way. This is different than the honesty I speak to above. This is what I consider grace, kindness, respect, and appreciation….etc. I’ve learned that when you up the bar on your attitude, and also make sure you treat people good no matter how cranky you are, it goes SUCH a long way. Nobody wants to be around a whiner, a downer, or a complainer. People will embrace you so much if you refrain from that as best as you can, and put that smile on your face.

4) Health matters. See two posts below.

I'll stop here. Just some of my thoughts for the day!!

High.

This morning I am celebrating a personal victory, which is really not that monumental in the grand scheme of things, but it feels so good to me! I received wonderful words of encouragement from one of my bootcamp coaches, and it's sparking a fire in my heart to more seriously pursue becoming a coach or trainer myself!

Since May, I've been attending an intense bootcamp for women (KAIA) three days per week. I've honestly never felt so healthy, at least not as long as I can remember. Each class I attend gets my heart racing, my sweat dripping, and my muscles burning! It feels incredible to push myself further than I knew I could go, and to see results I felt were long gone. My experience makes me want to scream out loud to everyone I love- "YOU can feel this good too!!"

It's incredible what working out can do for you. I firmly believe in "healthy body = healthy mind". Of course, there will always be those days. Always! But, overall, my energy level has increased tremendously, my confidence has increased, and I feel so much happier. I am motivated to eat healthier, and to workout on the days I don't have bootcamp, because I feel the outcome is so positive, there's no way I want to let it go. I believe everyone owes this to themselves, to take care of their bodies and minds, and stop making excuses. Just do it!

Miss You.

...my beautiful grandparents. True love.

Reason #114537438 that I love my husband.

Matt and I have had an ongoing....struggle....with laundry. I tend to do our laundry, and have never gotten into the habit of checking pockets when I do. I ALWAYS have a tissue on me, so unfortunately, I often end up with pieces of tissue all over our laundry. When Matt and I first got married, this drove him crazy- understandable. He'd beg me to check my pockets for tissues before I did the laundry. I was slightly defensive about it, depsite my understanding, because after all, I was the one doing his laundry!!

So one day, I did his laundry, and when I opened the dryer, I was mortified at the endless pen streaks around our dryer. He had left a pen in the pocket of his work pants, and it looked like an angry little child had scribbled hundreds of marks around and around our dryer. Fail. I didn't want to hear it- WHY did he not empty his pockets before putting his clothes in the hamper? Back and forth we went, he knew he shouldn't have left a pen in his pocket, but wondered why I couldn't just check. 3 days of scrubbing later, our dryer was spotless, thanks to me! Moving on!

Last week, I did our laundry again. As the clothes are in the dryer I hear a thumping towards the end of the cycle. I open the dryer to investigate but see nothing. I figure it must be the heavy load. I start the dryer back up after fluffing out the load a bit, but hear the thumping again. Ugh! I open the dryer and to my horror, find Matt's relatively new IPOD in the pocket of his gym shorts. SERIOUSLY?!! As annoyed as I was that he had left it in his pocket, I felt HORRIBLE. Luckily, the Ipod was revived after 30 min on the charger, but the screen was a bit funky. So when he came home, I confessed and apologized profusely. Luckily, he was super sweet, no arguing occured. He told me it was alright...Phew!!

Yesterday, when I came home, the first words Matt said to me were:

"Babe, I have to tell you something. Now I could choose to withhold this from you, but I am an honest person...." What in the world is he about to tell me?? "I did my laundry this morning. And I had left my walllet in my pants."

I love you my man! You're hilarious and so sweet.

Happy Birthday my Love!

26 years ago, my best friend was born...I love you, Matt... so much! I cannot wait to celebrate with you this weekend celebrating your first birthday as my husband!!

Looking forward to....

....the weather warming up, ....having no plans tonight, ....riding our bikes tomorrow, starting our garden, spending some QT with the hubby. I'm feeling good entering the weekend with no residual work-related stress. While the first week of work is always awkward as you revert back to knowing virtually nothing, having daily breaks and leaving at a reasonable hour really helps me to go home feeling more refreshed and less stressed than I have for a loooong time! Fantastic! This blog started with a list of goals and a rigid plan that aimed to allow me to accomplish those goals. Looking forward, the next year will be an interesting one for us, as the state budget cuts have truly limited Matt's school schedule flexibility, and we will thus be facing a time in which we will have to spend wisely and cautiously, and save as much as possible. While I've realized I can't manage to stick to such a rigid plan, I'm going to have to think again about how to manage my time and money best in order to continue to meet our goals. Sigh. The challenges never seem to stay away for too long. In such times, it helps me to remember: 'God said, "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart".' -Jeremiah 29:13

Just dance.

I often have dance parties in my living room. Sometimes, you just gotta get your groove on! And yes, maybe at first my husband may look at me like I'm crazy (adoringly of course) but within moments we both end up dancing around our house, laughing hysterically. I highly recommend this to everyone. It's guaranteed to boost your spirits on any day!

C'est la vie...

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster, on a further from home basis if that makes sense. Leaving a job that I’ve been at for four years, and really the only “real” job I’ve ever had has proven to be more of a challenging experience than I expected. I am so happy to have this new opportunity, and I am embracing it with open arms and excitement! But at the time of departure, I’ve really spent some time reflecting on what my almost former position has taught me and the experiences I’ve had. It’s posed so many questions that I thought I had all the answers to but then you revisit them again at the last minute, partly in a state of panic and partly in a state of relief, excitement, curiosity and some anxiety! As much as I am not one who wants my career to define my life, at this point, it is something that takes up majority of my time, and I’m still in a place where I have the freedom and flexibility to take some risks…..hmmmm. Here's to change! On a different note, it’s been a time of challenge with friends, some good and some bad. I love when you experience such fulfilling conversations and moments with friends who you really love and you walk away feeling better, closer, and comforted. I cherish these times, and growing closer to the people who I know I will care for forever, with endless memories ahead of us. Thanks, ladies! On the other hand, we’ve reached an age where I cannot have superficial relationships in the way I used to when I was younger and had less of an idea about who I am. While I’m still 20 something and striving….I know so much more about the kind of life that I want to live, how I want to carry myself, and I believe that your friends should compliment those aspirations and enrich your life. It’s an interesting realization when it causes a relationship to split off into different directions.

I know this picture is fuzzy and super random, but I just found it and I love that is has my 3 besties in it!

Yet in spite of all these roller coasters, my life at home with my hubby has been so fantastic, and I am just so much more in love every day- seriously!! I think we’ve reached a point where we can look back on 9 months of marriage and say we’ve overcome the adjustment phase and entered into a blissful place of comfort, stability, satisfaction, and a deep new level of love.

Oh, hello!

It's been a long time since I've posted but oh so much has been going on. We bought a car, sold a car, I've been sick, family gatherings, moving help, and oh...I GOT A NEW JOB! I think back to so many posts about struggling in my current positon and the limitations on my time that it creates. Starting April 11, I will have a new job, with normal hours. I can hardly believe it.

I'm already daydreaming about the possibilities a normal schedule will allow for: violin lessons (I sent an inquiry yesterday!), a class as I continue to explore long-term possibilities, yoga.....ahhhhh.

I feel like I've waited and waited and waited.....I guess that's what happens when you pray for patience!

I feel like sprinting and doing cartwheels along this gorgeous beach in Monterey that Matt and I went to last year (eeeeek!):

Inspiration.

Twenty years from now, you


will be more disappointed


by the things you did not do,


then by the things you did do.


So cast off the bow line,


sail away from the safe


harbor, catch the wind, and


dream explore and discover.


- Mark Twain

Love.

via Aurajoon.

Can't a girl dream?

Today I feel excited. My lovely friends and I have been tossing around the idea of a business prospect, which we will discuss more at our upcoming craft day! I love this idea. With our insanely busy lives, we all have those projects that keep being put on the back-burner. But those projects are often soooo satisfying to complete! So I can't wait to get together and work on that inspiration board I've been envisioning for so long.....exciting!

In other news, recent conversations with a friend lead me to ask the question of why is it so hard to battle emotions with logic? It's so interesting how we can logically understand something so well, but our hearts can still feel a way that is totally contradictory. How do you fight it? Stay strong. Easier said than done? Absolutely. Have faith my friend, this too shall pass.

Home is where the heart is

This week seems to be crawling by for me. Perhaps its because I had such a pleasant weekend!


We started out with a date night on Friday night, which started with homemade breakfast pizza for dinner. It was so delicious and easy to make, thanks to this recipe! Here is how ours turned out:




Then we went to watch The King's Speech which we both really loved! Saturday morning after visiting the grandparents we cleaned the house and I decorated it with flowers, something I find to really bring joy to the house in the simplest way! My new thing is to buy one variety bouquet from Trader Joe's (haven't bought one over $6) and break it apart, displaying it in mason jars around the house. Now, I have three cute flower displays and you can't beat the price. Ranunculus are one of my absolute favorite. This bouquet had a very romantic element to it, which I picked for our bedroom and positioned right next to our wedding photo :)

Happy Wednesday!

Joyful reminders.

Things that made me happy today...

1) Waking up to my amazing husband

2) Realizing that my brother comes home in just 2 weeks

3) Getting a long awaited e-mail :)

4) Finding an awesome website for apartment rentals all over Europe

5) Being reminded that God has a plan for me

6) Planning out date night for tomorrow which is F.R.I.D.A.Y.

7) The following picture:

Adventures Abroad.

The countdown is starting to become so much more real.....when Matt graduates we are going to pack our bags and head on out to Europe where we plan to live for as long as it works! It will likely be less than a year, but who knows- we may find a way to stay longer! It's becoming so much more real as we start to look into places, ideas, and how-tos for our upcoming adventure.

This is a plan that he and I have had from the very beginning (literally, a month into our relationship we referenced our married lives). We plan on making it a mix of volunteering and traveling, and we are currently saving up as much as we can. Our musts on the list include Spain, Greece, Switzerland, more of Italy, England and France......the list goes on because there's pretty much nowhere we won't go. We've found some amazing opportunities to throw in that range from building homes, to working with children, to studying endangered elephants!

This is our DREAM for before we settle down and have babies :) I can't believe the time for planning has arrived....Speaking of, I can't believe I have such an amazing life partner to share my dream with!

Has anyone done something like this?

What are your must-see recommendations for Europe?

Musical love.

Have I mentioned I REALLY love Ray Lamontagne? I find these lyrics to his title track to be simply amazing.

Caroline in the mountains

The sun sets up in ribbons high

I'll never wanna get old, never wanna die

We seein' steady rain

'Bout to drive us all insane

Nearly lost a few head up in the pins

At night some of the boys

Get to talking up their girls back home

I tell 'em none's as fine as mine

The old chaplin sayin'

Come morning we'll break the range

We pushin' hard now for the plains

I close my eyes

And I can see you

I close my eyes

And I can feel you here

God willin' and the creek don't rise

I'll be home again before this time next year

Though I fear this fever won't break

All my love

Happy Birthday Bestie!

Happy birthday to my amazingly wonderful, gorgeous, hilarious, talented, supportive, awesome best friend, LAURA. Thank you for being such an important and great part of my life. LOVE YOU!

Inspiration

My darling friend Danielle has an entire blog dedicated to inspiraitons. And my other darling friend Alicia saves pictures that inspire her on her desktop. I found the first item for my inspiration board in the making! How gorgeous is this photo??? I love love love peonies....

Women in Business

I’ve prayed and prayed about some clarity about my career path and what I should be doing with my life. As I’ve posted about long ago, my gripe with my current position is that it requires long hours, which prohibits me from doing pretty much anything else with my evenings….seriously. And the more I progress here, the more hours are expected of me. I’m actually headed in a direction that I like, more of a client services and consulting focused position, so it’s hard for my judgment not to get clouded by visions of success.

The industry I work in is private equity. In short, it’s a very wealthy investment asset class focused on the private markets. And today, one of the publications I receive at work had a very interesting article, titled “Private equity is a man's world... seriously”…

http://finance.fortune.cnn.com/2011/02/08/private-equity-is-a-mans-world-seriously/

Let me remind you that one of the days I look forward to the most is the day I am a mother……and if our lives and health permit, I dream of having four children. It doesn’t bother me that this article is basically arguing that as a woman you basically either choose your career or your family. But that’s a conversation to be had another day (regarding feminism and where I stand on it). As I head in a challenging and upwards direction in my career, I’ve questioned myself for the first time in a long time, regarding if I really should be seeking other opportunities. Then, like a wonderful answer to my prayers occurred a series of three events:

1- I worked until 7:15 last night at which point my boss called me into his office to help him with a spreadsheet before I was free to go.
2- This article was published.
3- A trusted source of information felt the need to tell me today not to get my hopes up too high regarding the organizational changes that have been promised at my firm….not for me specifically, but things that gave me hope for the firm as a whole.

SO, there you have it.

Sweet Dreams are Made of This

I get so overwhelmed sometimes thinking about all of the things that I want to be doing with my life. The list currently includes:

- Take violin and guitar lessons again
- Turn my cardio at the gym into at least 5 miles
- Go back to school for teaching or some kind of medical program
- Do more arts and crafts (make an inspiration board to start)
- Makeover my wardrobe
- Bike a marathon
- Start yoga
- Read the entire Bible

It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot

On a completely unrelated note, this picture from my wedding makes me laugh....

As the world turns

Last night my conservative husband and I went to my liberal father's house and as usual, ended up in a lengthy conversation about politics and how we can solve the world's problems. It's amazing that these conversations are diplomatic, given that both of them are very passionate about such topics. But somehow, these conversations about some of the most sensitive issues in society end up being interesting and intensely thought provoking, with no sense of hostility.

One of the main conclusions that we came to was that historically, peoples and countries are cyclical whether it be economically or in matters of war. I think most people recognize this. But a question my dad presented was, how often to you hear countries or leaders reflecting on 'what did we do wrong?'

I take this issue to the individual and find that we have the same issue. Some may call this self-reflection. Some call it repentance. Why do we have such a hard time facing our mistakes and our shortfalls? Isn't it true that often, when we allow ourselves to acknowledge these things, the outcome changes and we are empowered?

I'll start with a confession. It's not easy for me to admit that I am much more of a self conscious person than most people are aware. And I very often react or behave in ways that cater to this self consciousnesses as opposed to in a way that is true to my heart or what I feel right. And when I do this, I am attempting to protect myself whether it be in a defensive way or in a false way that helps me to fit in. But I know from experience all this does is alienate me and put me in a less than comfortable position. Why do I keep doing this? Because its easier. Does it work better? No.

One of my personal goals is to stop caring so much about fitting in or so called protecting myself. I need to remember that (a) the only one whose judgement matters is not here on earth, (b) those who truly love me will love me no matter what (c) when I have been true to myself and my beliefs, the outcome has always been better.

Maybe it will take more than that to stop wars and violence, but I do agree that the world could be a better place if we all took time to reflect on ourselves and truly strive for better.

Hmmm I wonder if I can follow through with this.

I have had some complaints from friends and family about the fact that I've closed my facebook account, but frankly, me and facebook just don't work well! And I'm such a non-committal person about most things in life that aren't living and breathing, so the blog was another doozy. But I'm wondering if I can come back to the blog to bridge the gap that facebook has left open. I hate to even say that but the reality of today's pace means we just don't get enough of each others time these days anymore. Sad but true.

So my loved ones, if you haven't already taken a gander at it, I do post updated pictures of my meanders on this website and I am currently in the process of doing some catch up on it (Honeymoon). http://mattandelhamsadventures.shutterfly.com/

So why am I so non-committal? I struggle with this. I need to find a niche because I honestly just feel so unskilled!! I'd love to be able to find something I feel passionate about this year. That is of course outside of my relationships which mean more to me than anything!

Have you heard the song "Arms of a Woman" by Amos Lee? It's beyond amazing.

http://s0.ilike.com/play#Amos+Lee:Arms+Of+A+Woman:37538:s2331443.9642082.1528640.0.2.88%2Cstd_3071e6930ab442e8b88ff7b5659a1aa3

Have a fantastic weekend.

Don't hold back

A Yahoo headline brought me to tears this morning and I decided to do a quick post so that anyone who comes across it can hopefully be impacted, like I just was. As dumb as it sounds, it was a clip from American Idol, showing a 26-year old man whose 23-year old fiancée was in a tragic accident two months before they were supposed to get married. She survived, but suffered serious damage to her brain and this girl who was gorgeous and healthy now looks completely different and is in a wheelchair, unable to walk or talk. Thank God she survived, but now her wedding has been postponed as they deal with her healing.

I thought, wow- you never know what can happen on any given day in any given moment. So I instantly sent my husband a text that said, “hey babe…I love you so much.”

2011

I decided I'm not a blogger, can you tell? I really love to read blogs, but there are few that keep my interest enough to check daily, and I lack the creativity to be have one of those. I also find a lot of my insight to be very random and too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing online, even though the total number of readers for my blog is equal to ZERO :) However, I may as well keep this bad boy alive in case the day ever comes again where I feel I have something interesting enough to share, and in the meantime, I am reverting back to my good old pen and paper journal writing, where I can divulge the deepest secrets of my heart and mind.......