As the world turns

Last night my conservative husband and I went to my liberal father's house and as usual, ended up in a lengthy conversation about politics and how we can solve the world's problems. It's amazing that these conversations are diplomatic, given that both of them are very passionate about such topics. But somehow, these conversations about some of the most sensitive issues in society end up being interesting and intensely thought provoking, with no sense of hostility.

One of the main conclusions that we came to was that historically, peoples and countries are cyclical whether it be economically or in matters of war. I think most people recognize this. But a question my dad presented was, how often to you hear countries or leaders reflecting on 'what did we do wrong?'

I take this issue to the individual and find that we have the same issue. Some may call this self-reflection. Some call it repentance. Why do we have such a hard time facing our mistakes and our shortfalls? Isn't it true that often, when we allow ourselves to acknowledge these things, the outcome changes and we are empowered?

I'll start with a confession. It's not easy for me to admit that I am much more of a self conscious person than most people are aware. And I very often react or behave in ways that cater to this self consciousnesses as opposed to in a way that is true to my heart or what I feel right. And when I do this, I am attempting to protect myself whether it be in a defensive way or in a false way that helps me to fit in. But I know from experience all this does is alienate me and put me in a less than comfortable position. Why do I keep doing this? Because its easier. Does it work better? No.

One of my personal goals is to stop caring so much about fitting in or so called protecting myself. I need to remember that (a) the only one whose judgement matters is not here on earth, (b) those who truly love me will love me no matter what (c) when I have been true to myself and my beliefs, the outcome has always been better.

Maybe it will take more than that to stop wars and violence, but I do agree that the world could be a better place if we all took time to reflect on ourselves and truly strive for better.

Hmmm I wonder if I can follow through with this.

I have had some complaints from friends and family about the fact that I've closed my facebook account, but frankly, me and facebook just don't work well! And I'm such a non-committal person about most things in life that aren't living and breathing, so the blog was another doozy. But I'm wondering if I can come back to the blog to bridge the gap that facebook has left open. I hate to even say that but the reality of today's pace means we just don't get enough of each others time these days anymore. Sad but true.

So my loved ones, if you haven't already taken a gander at it, I do post updated pictures of my meanders on this website and I am currently in the process of doing some catch up on it (Honeymoon). http://mattandelhamsadventures.shutterfly.com/

So why am I so non-committal? I struggle with this. I need to find a niche because I honestly just feel so unskilled!! I'd love to be able to find something I feel passionate about this year. That is of course outside of my relationships which mean more to me than anything!

Have you heard the song "Arms of a Woman" by Amos Lee? It's beyond amazing.

http://s0.ilike.com/play#Amos+Lee:Arms+Of+A+Woman:37538:s2331443.9642082.1528640.0.2.88%2Cstd_3071e6930ab442e8b88ff7b5659a1aa3

Have a fantastic weekend.

Don't hold back

A Yahoo headline brought me to tears this morning and I decided to do a quick post so that anyone who comes across it can hopefully be impacted, like I just was. As dumb as it sounds, it was a clip from American Idol, showing a 26-year old man whose 23-year old fiancée was in a tragic accident two months before they were supposed to get married. She survived, but suffered serious damage to her brain and this girl who was gorgeous and healthy now looks completely different and is in a wheelchair, unable to walk or talk. Thank God she survived, but now her wedding has been postponed as they deal with her healing.

I thought, wow- you never know what can happen on any given day in any given moment. So I instantly sent my husband a text that said, “hey babe…I love you so much.”

2011

I decided I'm not a blogger, can you tell? I really love to read blogs, but there are few that keep my interest enough to check daily, and I lack the creativity to be have one of those. I also find a lot of my insight to be very random and too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing online, even though the total number of readers for my blog is equal to ZERO :) However, I may as well keep this bad boy alive in case the day ever comes again where I feel I have something interesting enough to share, and in the meantime, I am reverting back to my good old pen and paper journal writing, where I can divulge the deepest secrets of my heart and mind.......